I, Lil’ Bit “Supreme Ruler of All I Survey”, do hereby issue this Daily Feline Itinerary/Mission Statement to, and for, all feline occupants of The Furless Mom’s Camp Runamok, in which we inhabit – and I rule!!!
There is to be no variations to these Orders Of Business, or severe penalties shall ensue!
1st Order of the day: Wake up furless mom by biting of the toes! She must be up by 4 AM daily.
2nd Order: “Assist” her with making that stinky black stuff she drinks. *Remind her to put some of that yummy white stuff in it that we like so that we can have some out of her cup when she is not looking!
3rd Order: Wait until she is outside on deck drinking stinky black stuff THEN start attacking/chasing/harassing the sleeping-cranky-old-grumpy-no-fun “Lady” cats. MAKE THEM SCREAM!!!! Yahoo! 😉
4th Order: Run and hide before furless mom catches you doing the above! *If caught – roll over onto your back and look cute and say that it wasn’t you!!
5th Order: Wait until furless mom goes into office to get on computer, THEN pull open back screen door (I’ll show you how to unlock it) and run out onto porch to get/eat bugs! *When furless mom shows up at a dead run – you run back inside door and sit down, giving her your best “I didn’t do it – but may I go out?” looks.
6th Order: Chase/harass the old-grumpy-lady-cats again and make them scream some more!! (This is the best!!!)
7th Order: Wait for furless mom to start gathering her “work clothes” and you then race into bathroom shower to wait for her, and try to get drink out of faucet. *She will try to remove you and lock you out of the Water Fun Room, so take turns racing back into shower as she “removes” the next fur kid – there are more of us than there is of her so this fun can last several minutes!! 😉
8th Order: After she closes everyone out of the Water Fun Room, sit outside door and wail and meow PITIFULLY until she lets you back in. *Water may be all drained by now so you MUST hurry to get to the bubbles before they all disappear!! Bubbles are FUN!!!
9th Order: Chase “old ones” some more while furless mom is occupied getting dressed. *HOWEVER – if she comes running still wearing a towel and proclaiming “I”VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!!!!!” – give it up and HIDE or you will be put into The Furless Boys’ bathroom (all by yourself) to have a “Time-Out”!!!!
10th Order: Behave and “Play Nice” while furless mom puts on shoes. Help her with her shoestrings because she doesn’t know how to tie them all-by-herself (even tho she will tell you that she does)!!
11th Order: Wait until you hear the door lock behind her – THEN….Let The Races Begin!!!!! Any object in your way MUST be removed/relocated from the course-of-the-day (Don’t worry – furless mom will “reset” the course when she comes home). Victory naps will then ensue immediately following the races.
12th Order: Sleep until furless mom returns from work. Listen for her car and run to meet her at the door. When she enters: purr, rub against her legs and ask for Tuna – because you have had such a Good Day!!! 🙂