When Closets Throw-Up….

Question: Can you be a “Neat Freak” and be a borderline “Hoarder” all at the same time????

If you can – then I am.

I think.

Yup – I am an “Orderly Hoarder”  That’s me. The “Orderly Hoarder”.

“Not possible” you say? HAH! Then you haven’t had the opportunity to gaze in terror at my closets – before they throw-up on you!    😉       

You know those funny movies where the unsuspecting human opens the closet door and everything in the closet comes tumbling down on top of them? I think they used one of my closets for that movie!

It’s all “their” fault, you know.    😉          

If “they” built houses with adequate storage space – I wouldn’t have this problem!     🙂     Hehehehe.

I mean really! WHO in their right mind honestly believes that a (singular – NOT plural here) 2′ wide x 2′ deep linen closet is considered to be adequate storage space for a house with 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms?!?!?!

Or that a 3′ wide x 3′ deep “coat closet” is considered adequate storage for all of the coats, hats, boots, gloves, scarves, ice scrapers (gotta get INTO the car before you can get these otherwise), furnace filters, vacuum cleaner, cleaning supplies, broom and dustpan, feather dusters, cleaning rags, vacuum filters/belts, mops, buckets, boot dryers, empty fish bowls (don’t ask), and spare ceramic kitchen tiles that live in the same house as the above linen closet does?!?!?

It must have been a man!!! Seriously!

Men can use a suitcase to store everything that they need to exist for years in a house – EXCEPT for their vehicle’s (read “their baby” here) needs. Old tires (“but there is still tread left on those!”), motor oil, asstd fluids, rags, polishing supplies, detailing accessories, old belts (“it’s not broken thru yet”), broken hub caps, old license plate holders, etc., etc., etc…. These things need their own zip code!!    🙂    

More women should design houses!! Or at least be hired on as Architectural Advisors!!!


Just think about it:

There would be a walk-in closet in every bedroom. Every bathroom would have its own linen closet. There would be 2 large walk-in pantry closets in every home, 1 for food and 1 for small appliances and cookware. There would be a large closet for all of your cleaning supplies. There would be a huge coat closet by the front door. A laundry room with cabinets, clothes folding table, hanging area, ironing area, hamper space, and a utility sink!  There would be a “Pet Closet” specifically for their feed, supplies and accouterments. There would be a closet in every living room/den for all of your sofa blankets, guest pillows, board games, video game supplies and equipment, and the like. There would be a separate compartment built-in to the end of your kitchen counter to hold/hide/contain your trash can – so it didn’t have to live out in the middle of your kitchen!

If your home has more than 1 story/level – then there would be a “cleaning closet” at the top of the stairs, so that you wouldn’t have to lug your vacuum cleaner (or cleaning supplies) up and down the stairs all of the time. There would also be a “Dumb-Waiter” installed so that you don’t have to schlep the laundry/etc. up and down the stairs all of the time either.


What do you think?

I think I should check into a second career.   🙂   



3 Responses to “When Closets Throw-Up….”

  1. flyinggma Says:

    Great post Shady! If we lived in warmer areas we would only need half the stuff that is in our closets. I think every bed should be a platform bed with storage drawers underneath to hold all the extra bedding for that bed. I helped design the home we live in now but I was young then and I would do many things differently now if I had the chance. You learn a lot about yourself and home after you have lived in it for 18 years.

  2. Bren Says:

    I love the ideas doe storage. I agree. If I ever get to design my own house there will be lots of conveniences built in to it.

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